Reticulating Splines

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Proust_Questionnaire

Your favorite virtue
Not necessarily the ability but the desire to maintain a positive outlook in the face of adversity and to carry on after experiencing profound pain and loss.

Your favorite qualities in a man
Introversion, humility (to the point of self-deprecation), old fashioned chivalry with a twist of bad assery, a good balance of brains and brawn, the ability to handle and assess their emotions.

Your favorite qualities in a woman
A strong maternal instinct, transcending the sense of entitlement that comes with having good looks, being more attracted to men with interesting character and artistic passion than material wealth (re: me).

Your chief characteristic
Being aloof / avoidant and markedly quiet but having valuable things to say when I do choose to be present and open my mouth.

What you appreciate most in your friends
They’re loyal and all pretty special in their own way. Most can keep up with my level of oddity and neurosis (or at least find it interesting and/or tolerate it).

Your main fault
My persistent bouts of self-loathing and misanthropy. Giving up too easily on myself and others. Having trouble coping with responsibility. Seeing life through a very bleak filter. Should I keep going?

Your favourite occupation
Of all the ones I’ve held, probably tutoring. Teaching is the only professional medium in which I can cope with interacting with people, and even that is questionable.

Your idea of happiness
Being able to live in a place of my choosing and not have to answer to anyone. The former is a possibility in my life…the latter, not so much.

Your idea of misery
The tedium of life and having no one to try to transcend it with. As much as I guard myself from people, what I crave most is companionship.

If not yourself, who would you be
I don’t think I could not be myself at this point. I’m myself to a fault. But it’d be nice to be somebody more extroverted and energetic, excited with life and filled with wonder. Possibly also able to be entertained by and satisfied with mediocrity.

Where would you live
“You’ll never hear me talk about one day gettin’ out - why put a new address on the same old loneliness?” / Someplace with a vibrant arts community and a big city with lots of things to do. Also, having four distinct seasons is very important to me, as I’ve spent my whole life in a place that’s just one long endless summer and it’s driven me fairly mad.

Your favorite colour and flower
Blurple. Ever look at a flower and hate it? I have. So what.

Your favorite prose authors
Charles Bukowski, Kurt Vonnegut, Haruki Murakami.

Your favorite poets
Walt Whitman, Jason Molina.

Your favorite heroes in fiction
Anti-heroes with troubled pasts and filled with self-doubt.

Your favorite heroines in fiction
Sarah Connor embodies everything I value in a heroine – hardened yet sensitive, troubled, tragically misunderstood, extremely maternal, corrupted by truth, battling against an insurmountably bleak fate but never giving up.

Your favorite painters and composer
Salvador Dali. John Cage. Brian Eno. Brian McBride & Adam Wiltzie.

Your heroes in real life
All the good teachers I’ve had, direct and indirect.

What characters in history do you most dislike
Tyrannical, conquering, oppressive dicks.

Your heroines in World History
Emily Dickinson. Delia Derbyshire.

Your favorite food and drink
Diabetes-inducing cereal with milk. Milkshakes.

Your favorite names
Nihongo no namae wa.

What I hate the most
Chronic anxiety. Willful ignorance. Injustice.

World history characters I hate the most
Bigger dicks.

The military event I admire the most
I’m fascinated by WWII and the Cold War, but I wouldn’t call it admiration by any stretch.

The reform I admire the most
The rebuilding (of Japan in particular) after WWII is the first thing that comes to mind.

The natural talent I’d like to be gifted with
I’d like to be able to actually cultivate the talents I do have without constantly undermining myself and my own progress.

How I wish to die
Either by my own hand or in a tragically romantic circumstance…being electrocuted during a show while adjusting an amplifier is something I’ve fantasized about.

What is your present state of mind
Meh. Almost always meh.

For what fault have you most toleration
People trying to take advantage of me but being really charming about it. I’m such a fucking pushover. Also, seeing people at their lowest and most vulnerable is not only tolerable to me, but life-affirming.

Your favorite motto
“When you appeal to everybody, you have no identity.”